Reply to Teal Swan – Polyamory: Why you should not listen to Teal Swan for (relationship) advice.
The claims that Teal Swan makes in her video about polyamory should not be followed by anyone to make relationship decisions. In this video we show that Teal Swan is not holding the right context for relationship and should not be someone you listen to for matters that concern your relationships and life.
She is now heading to her 4th marriage, after three divorces. She claims to be a spiritual teacher, but mostly mixes and matches work of others, without having the experience herself to back it up. That often results in ill advice. With a following base of 300.000 people you should be responsible for what you say. People are listening and making life decisions based on her claims. If it were just Teal Swan planning her own life, that would not be a problem for us. But she claims to be a spiritual teacher.
Teal Swan says that polyamory is the future of relationships, and that it will help you open up to the world and oneness with everyone. We say opening up is not dependent on the amount of partners you have. Wether you have an intimate relationship with one or multiple people, or if you live a life of celibacy, does not matter for transformation. To Teal polyamory might just appeal, because having a healthy, intimate relationship with one person is not working out. But it is not the solution, because the same faulty mental setup will be there in all relationships.
What does matters for success and transformation in relationships is the context you hold. That is where Teal clearly misses the point, and not a small one. She states that with polyamory you have “more people available to complete your needs, sometimes the 1 person cannot give you what you need. in monogamous relationships, especially if they don’t work very well, we can end up starving. you can’t actually deny a need that you have, you have to get that need met”.
Here it shows that she is expecting to have her needs completed by someone else. That she thinks more people will more easily fulfil her needs. That is THE context for failure in relationship, and life in general. But as anyone with spiritual experience will know, nothing outside of us will ever fulfil our needs. Especially one who claims to be a teacher should know. Seeking fulfilment outside is the basic mistake we all make, when your seeking turns inwards, only then you become a spiritual seeker.
Then Teal says: “remember that I said, if you don’t like drama that polyamory is not for you? well, if you are the kind of person who easily gets bored and drama is your cup of tea, so is polyamory – you are never going to have a dull moment”
This shows that she needs drama in her life to feel alive. What does this mean? It means that there is a deep emptiness and depression inside, that again she tries to fulfil by something outside. That feeling of being alive, can only come from the source of bliss within. When we mistake it to come from outside, bondage and suffering starts. Please don’t follow her advice and make that mistake. Rather look for an authentic, enlightened teacher, that in addition to his own experience also gives you the scriptural reference to what he is teaching. So you know you are dealing with authentic, time-tested teachings, and someone who can explain from his own experience. If a teacher does not match these criteria, don’t follow that teacher, don’t waste your time and life, it is precious. Wherever you go to for your spiritual guidance, always remember that piece of advice.
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